


Oh, how we fall

by MochaCorgi



Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Faraday is Bad at Feelings, Honestly these two need to get their shit together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Vasquez is Bad at Feelings, the break up fic literally no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 13:30:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochaCorgi/pseuds/MochaCorgi
Summary: "Us." It was with that simple word that Vasquez had felt as though a bucket of ice had been poured over him. The reaction wasn't slow, it was immediate and too much all at once.Faraday and Vasquez break up and through the (annoying) help of their friends find their way back to each other.





	Oh, how we fall

**Author's Note:**

> "Us." It was with that simple word that Vasquez had felt as though a bucket of ice had been poured over him. The reaction wasn't slow, it was immediate and too much all at once. 
> 
>  
> 
> Faraday and Vasquez break up and through the (annoying) help of their friends find their way back to each other.

Faraday never said the he loved him.

It wasn't a big deal to Vasquez. He himself had said it to Faraday and was rewarded with a passionate kiss or a heated session of fucking. But he never said it back. And it didn't bother Vasquez.

Until it did.

When he was with Faraday, when he was kissing him, fucking him, even just thinking about him, he felt like he was falling. Like he had launched himself off of a cliff, free falling. He'd alway welcomed the feeling.

But with Faraday's lack of response that warm welcome turned fearful, afraid that he was the only one falling, while Faraday stood without wobble. It terrified Vasquez but he tried to ignore it. He really did.

He never meant to pull back and even if he did he didn't think Faraday would notice or care. 

But he did.

***

 

"It's not working."

When Faraday first said the words Vasquez was busying himself with trying to find where he had put his damn key. He riffled through what had once been a neat stack of laundry, not bothering to glance up. He had assumed Faraday meant his search. Even if it wasn't what he meant Vasquez had long become accustomed to the ginger just blurting things out without much context. He didn't give much care to this time.

He simply hummed. "Hmmm. Well if you helped me."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"Hmmm." Vasquez repeated distractedly, turning out the pockets of a pair of jeans.

"Will you stop humming and have this conversation with me?" Faraday snapped waspishly.

Vasquez sighed heavily, "You're gonna have to be more specific, guero."

"I was clear." It sounded petulant, almost regretful. Vasquez hadn't given it much thought until later, then he'd simply chalked it up as his own wishful thinking.

"No you weren't. What exactly-" He began.

"Us." It was with that simple word that Vasquez had felt as though a bucket of ice had been poured over him. The reaction wasn't slow, it was immediate and too much all at once. 

Dimly Vasquez was aware that Faraday had continued to talk. Not that he could make out what he was saying. His ears were ringing, noise increasing. It seemed like his world had been knocked off balance. Finally the ringing reached its peak and then there was nothingness. 

After, slowly, awareness came back. Sound started to fade back in. His vision sharpened where it had fuzzed around the edges. He had felt a phantom itch on both of his palms, had felt the dampness to them. Faraday's voice began to ring back in.

"This. This thing...whatever the hell it is between us-" He'd spouted. Everything dimmed again and then sharpened. Anger flooded through him, heightened by the lack of control he felt. "'Whatever the hell it is'? What is that supposed to mean?" He demanded.

"This relationship, Vasquez, it's not working. You can barely even call it one." Faraday snarled.

Hurt flooded through Vasquez. Something sharp had stabbed at his chest. He felt like there was a knife lodged in there, the impact felt too great and he staggered back. "How can you even say that."

It'd come out less steady than he would have like, more breathy and soft, but at the time Vasquez didn't care. Faraday, however, did. His gaze snapped up to Vasquez's face, eyes burning. His mouth set in an irate twist and made a growling noise.

"I can't count on you!" The words had sounded ripped out of him from where they had been buried in a deep place inside him. "You don't even know what you want. I don't want to keep waiting."

 

“Waiting for what?” He threw backs

“For you to figure it out.” Came Faraday’s quiet response. Bewilderment had flooded him, because maybe there was a slight possibility that things had been a bit rocky lately, but he still knew what he wnat and it wasn’t this. Still, he felt unable to form the words to say that. He stood in the middle of the room floundering.

Faraday's eyes were molten pools of emerald. His hands had been shaking by his side. A loud sigh past his lips and had run a frantic hand through his hand and started pacing the space of the room.

Vasquez had felt the knife twist in his chest, sharp pain lanced through him. He'd tried to meet the other man's eyes but Faraday was now more interested in the carpet. A tense silence had fallen over the room, Vasquez too shocked to speak, Faraday too pissed. Finally Faraday seemed to come to a stop.

"I need to leave. I...I need to go."

"Where?" Vasquez breathed

"Not here." He's bit out. Then, quieter, "I'll be out by the tomorrow.”

"You're moving out?" He'd grunted. Faraday had sighed angrily. "Yes, Vasquez. That what people do in this...situation."

Vasquez swallowed audibly before nodding. "Fine." He had turned to leave, not even caring about the keys anymore. Hell, he would have walked to work just to get out of that room. "That's...yeah fine."

He was already halfway out the door when Faraday had called out to him. He hated the pathetic bit of hope that welled up in him.

"Vasquez." Faraday walked over to the closet and pulled out his coat, the one Vas had worn the night before. He'd flipped out the pockets and tossed him the keys. "They were here."

He sounded defeated, though Vasquez felt that this was more due to his imagination than anything. He'd wanted to believe that Faraday's shoulders were sagged and heaving, that his back was bowed, head down low. He'd wanted to believe that there was a sadness to his eyes, an ache in his chest. Vasquez had wanted to believe he was affected in some way. Then Faraday's eyes glanced up to his eyes. They were firm and steady. He gulped and suddenly it all had become too much. He nodded and darted out of the room.

If Vasquez thought the knife in his chest would stop twisting, he was wrong. It remained.

For months.

****

 

To say that Vasquez was bored seemed like a inadequate understatement. To say that he was emotionally unsettled had a depressing ring to it that he couldn't quite cope with. So though the latter rang more true, he went with he was apathetic. Unfeeling and unreacting. 

This was what he told Emma and Goody and Sam, when they asked. And Red, though Red didn't really ask, he just sort of gave him a look of judgement. He had repeated the sentiment multiple times to them, still not one of them seemed to believe it. Not that Vasquez could really blame them. Hell, he didn't even believe it most days. He kept repeating it though. It seemed less pathetic than being hung up over someone who didn't want him anymore.

Most days he wished he was apathetic, wished he could will away this terrible coldness that had taken hold of his chest. Some days were worse than others. Sometimes he actually thought things would be okay. Then he would see a deck of cards or an old picture and he would feel like someone was carving out his insides, making him hollow. Most days he felt too much.

So now Vasquez sat on the couch in his cluttered apartment, beer in hand, t.v. providing white noise, wondering when the hell he became this much of a sob story. The even worse part was that this was probably how he was going to be spending the rest of his night.

Or at least he had thought so until the phone rang. It's resonant ringing echoing throughout the quiet apartment like something ominous. Maybe it was.

The caller I.D. read Teddy. Vas sighs. Ever since the breakup the entire group had taken shifts checking in on him and likely Faraday. Not that he would know as Faraday had all but stopped speaking to him three months ago. Vasquez appreciated the thought, he really did, it just made him feel like even more of a tragedy.

"Yeah?" The words were sharp and bitten off and out of his mouth before he could help it. He sighed, trying to calm the storm raging inside him. Teddy doesn’t deserve it. 

"Um...hey buddy. Look sorry to bother you but, ah, well, um, there's a bit of a problem." He stumbles through, trailing off oddly.

"What's happening?" Vasquez hesitates.

"It's Faraday." He answers sheepishly.

"What happened?" Vasquez demands, desperate to know the answer but also dreading it.

"Well, um, he called me me about an hour ago from this bar and told me to come get him and that he needed a place for the night." Vasquez tried not to flinch at the disapproving tone Teddy had taken on. He hadn't been the one to kick Faraday out, the man left on his own terms. Regardless, he felt embarrassment grate against him like glass, heat coming to his face. "Anyway, when I got there I realized he was, sorry is, drunk off his ass. He apparently changed his mind because he refused to leave. Also he may have conned some people out of some money."

"May?" 

Teddy hummed. "Long story short we have been kicked out and banned from the bar and are now sitting in the freezing cold because he refuses to leave until he gets what he wants." Teddy whines, adding, "It snowing outside Vas, snowing!"

From the other end he hear Faraday grumble something, to which Teddy responded with, "Fine. It's snowing, Vasquez. Better?" But Vasquez was too distracted by Teddy's previous statement to pay much mind the their bickering.

"Terco. What does he want?" He finally asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You." Teddy answered, before rambling on like he hadn't just released a wave of both warmth and ice on Vasquez. "Look I know you guys are fighting and when I was first talked to him he didn't want you involved in any way." And nice Teddy, way to stick a knife into the delicate ballon of hope that everything between them would be okay. "But he's wasted now and begging for you. And-"

There was shuffling on the line. "Teddy?"

"Dammit Faraday! Let go!"

"Let me talk to him!" Faraday's voice jolted Vasquez. Both from the relief of hearing it again and shock at the slurred infliction it had taken on. "He's my person, not yours. He wants to talk to me!"

"Faraday stop! Faraday! Fuck!"

Due to the fact that he was across town, he couldn't actually see Teddy's phone drop. Also due to the fact that he was in a call with said phone, he could her the resulting crack. He winced in sympathy.

"Vasquez get over here, please." Teddy begged after grabbing the phone. "I can't deal with him!"

"And you think I can?" His voice took an unusually high pitch.

"Whether you can or not, he's yours to deal with!"

Bitterly, Vasquez wondered for how that was true anymore. Faraday may want him right now, drunk as all hell, but Vasquez had heard him months prior. He would leave again in the morning. He swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"Alright. I'm on my way."

*****

Walking up towards the address Teddy had given him, it didn't take long to spot them. They were in front of the bar, Faraday sitting precariously on the the railing, Teddy standing across from him. Teddy was glaring up at him, mouth moving a mile a minute, making wild hand gestures. In response Faraday cackled madly, swaying dangerously. Vasquez quickened his pace, despite the carving sensation his chest felt.

It had been just under a month since Faraday and him had so much as said a word to each other. Faraday probably wouldn't even have been in the general vicinity of Vasquez this past month, if it hadn't been for the mutual group of friends.

The first couple of group gatherings they played a type a hide and seek, as Billy called it, Faraday came and Vasquez skipped, and when Faraday skipped, Vasquez came. It was foolish and petty, but the ache in Vasquez's chest kept him doing it, unwilling to face the other man quite yet. When they did, finally, about a month ago, after two months of the said hide and seek, both come to a gathering it was Jack's birthday dinner. 

It had been on of the worst dinners of Vasquez's life and with the family he grew up with, that was saying something. Faraday had mumbled a greeting, not meeting his eye, then proceeded to sit as far away from him as possible. He didn't look at him the entire meal, and Vasquez would know because he kept sneaking glances at him. But nope, in fact, the man's eye practically stayed glued to the constantly replaced bottle of beer in front of him, briefly flicking up to taunt someone before snapping back to the damn bottle. It had drove Vasquez up a wall, especially because of the sympathetic looks the rest of the group kept shooting his way. They grated against his skin, humiliation flare within him. He had made some excuse and fled, not sparing Faraday a glance.

Emma had been furious.

About an hour after he had got home after the dinner from hell, she came fuming through his doorway, no invitation necessary, yelling at him to get his shit together and fix whatever was going on between the two of them.

"He's hurting, bad, Vas." Emma had lamented, finally calming down. Vasquez had barked a laugh, hollow and empty. Emma's eye had narrowed dangerously. "You think that's amusing?"

"I think it's fucking ironic." He had hissed furiously.

"'Ironic'? What the hell's the matter with you?" She'd demanded, voice rising sharply.

"Sí! What exactly has he told you?" He hadn't told his friends anything about the breakup. Well besides the obvious, they had had a fight and it lead to the end of the relationship. Vasquez wasn't sure, had never asked, what Faraday had told them. By the sounds of it Emma seemed to be under the impression he was the one to end it.

"Nothing! He won't tell me anything! Hell he won't tell anyone anything, he barely talks to anyone anymore. He barely comes around and when he does it's like he isn't even there. He's drunk most of the time now and not like he used to be, not to get loose. He's a mess and you're over here fucking laughing?" She'd cried, flailing her arms about wildly. 

Something had snapped in him. Pain from hearing about Faraday's current state and hurt from having to think about the whole fight again mixed, forming an angry monster.

"He's the one who fucking ended it!" He'd screamed, watching shock flashing over Emma's face, feeling more anger flare up. "Oh what he didn't tell?" He had sneered, ugly and crude. "He opted out of the relationship. Guess it wasn't his thing. He... he... ugh lo tíro todo." The last past was whispered, raw, taken from a distraught place that Vasquez had been trying not to let see the light day since the fight. 

"Vasquez." It was soft and coaxing, reeling him back from the depths for his own hurt. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"Me too." He’d conceded passively. Both for Faraday and Emma.

"But," Emma had plowed on, albeit far more gentle this time, "you two need to fix this. It's destroying both of you."

And fuck if that wasn't an understatement. He hadn't slept properly since they broke up, twisting in the middle of the night in search of warm arms and finding cold, dead sheet. The apartment felt too big without Faraday's stuff. The other man had cleared out while Vasquez was at work the morning after he ended things, Vasquez had walked into a place that was entirely his own and he hated it. The shelves were too barren, the layout to picturesque. Vas had always liked aesthetically pleasing decor while Faraday couldn't care less, mixing random color together, buying whatever was cheap. It always used to annoy him that next to the crystal blue glass vase, he had lain out tastefully on the coffee table, Faraday would leave junk, rubics cubes, cards, keys, tacky magazines, now it looked wrong without being barricaded by random crap. He felt like he was living in an apartment ripped from a magazine, decorate and ornate, but existing solely for appeal and not for actual living. It didn't feel like home anymore.

He had, somehow, managed to convince Emma to back off, convincing her that everything was happening for a reason and it wasn't anybody else's business. The spiel had been good, Vasquez almost convinced himself that this was a good thing but the painful throbbing in his chest reminded him otherwise. Emma seemed to respect the effort, even though she didn't seem entirely convinced, yet she agreed to stay out of it, so he tallied it as a victory.

A warm body slammed into him, jolting him from his reverie. It was Faraday, that much Vasquez's surprised mind was able to deduce. His first thought was that he didn't smell right, his normal scent was faintly present, which Vas only noticed being pressed to the other man. He smelt like he had bathed in liquor, the acidic odor stinging his senses. His second thought was how incredibly close Faraday was. It was a kind if masochistic head game, wanting revel in the other man's embrace but knowing he only wanted him because he wasn't thinking straight. He felt the knife cut deeper into his chest.

"Vas!" Faraday cheered, pulling back enough to look him in the eye. His breath caught in his throat when they met gazes. The gambler's usually fiery green eyes, were glittering and glazed, but what troubled Vasquez the most was the dull under tone to them. They had alway been one of Vas's favorite features on the other man, alway dancing and always alive. "You came! Told ya he would come! Teddy thought ya might leave us but I said nope," he rambled, head lolling, popping the 'p', "I knew you'd come for me!"

"You did, did you?" Vasquez asked once he had found his voice over the intoxication of having Faraday in his arms again. The other man nodded vigorously. 

"He did." Teddy confirmed, walking over to them. "He's been talking about it non stop since I've got off the phone with you. 'I told you, Q. Vas'll come for me. My Vas will pull through, you'll see.'" Faraday wasn't in any capacitation to be embarrassed by the imitation, in fact he nodded along easily.

"Could always count on you." He hicupped, burrowing deeper into Vasquez's arms and it took all of his strength not to scoff. It was an entirely different tune to what Faraday had been singing a months prior. Then again the Faraday had been sober and less spacey. He swallowed his remarks and nodded stiffly. "Sí. Here I am."

The moments that followed were filled by awkward silence, Vasquez, too annoyed to offer up anything else and Faraday, drunkenly content just to be in the other man's arms. It wasn't until Teddy coughed awkwardly that Vasquez came back to reality. "Come on, Faraday. It's time to get you home."

"Hmm no. I'm going with Vas." Faraday replied breezily, pulling Vasquez to his side.

"No you're not." It was too loud, too quick, too desperate for his liking but he couldn't help it. Not with the knife slowly carving away at his chest.

Faraday pulled away from him swaying. Hurt radiated off him, eyes miserable. "Vas, please. I need this, need you." He pleaded

Vasquez almost scoffed before responding brusquely. "No you don't. You need to go home."

Faraday flinched and Teddy shot him a furious look. Guilt coursed through him, twisting inside. He was about to try to rephrase, be gentler, when Faraday beat him too it. "I miss you, Ale."

It was quiet and raw and tore Vasquez to shreds. His throat tightened and his chest constricted harshly. A lump rose in his throat and his eyes began to burn. He wanted to crumple, to pull the other man into his arms and tell him he missed him too, that he still loved him, that they could fix this. But the rational part of his brain stopped him. Faraday did stupid things while drunk, he didn't mean it. And Vasquez didn't know if he could survive Faraday leaving him a second time.

"Querido. You're drunk off your ass, you will regret this in the morning, trust me. Let me take you home, yeah?" Vasquez coaxes but Faraday shook his head. Teddy sighed.

"Just take him home Vas." Faraday shots him a murderous look. "Vasquez." He amended.

"I can't."

"Vasquez, c'mo-"

"I can't, Teddy." Vasquez stresses insistently.

"Why not?" Teddy urges. Vasquez laughed hollowly. "Because he doesn't want this!"

"Yes I do!" Faraday slurrs.

"See, he does." Teddy says cheerfully.

"Teddy!" Vasquez cries. "He incapacitated! He doesn't know what he wants!"

"Okay, maybe he's a little drunk but-" Teddy rambles before Faraday promptly bends over a vomits. It narrowly misses Teddy's shoes and Faraday mumbles a far too cheery 'sorry'. "Okay. Yes, he's wasted. But that doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything!" Vasquez laments.

"Vasquez! He wants you, drunk or not. He's been hurting just like you. You two need to fix this, honestly. You guys are both torturing yourselves." Teddy implores.

"Teddy...this isn't a good idea."

"Fine." Teddy concedes easily. A little too easily. "Take him home then. I'm leaving."

With that he turned on his heels and heads for his car leaving Vasquez sputtering. "Teddy! Hey, wait! I don't know where he lives."

"Not my problem." He quipps, getting into his car.

"Teddy!" Vasquez made to run after him and would have probably caught him in time of Faraday hadn't freaked out and charged after him. Which ended in him barreling into Vasquez and nearly falling. By the time Vasquez had righted him, Teddy was peeling out the parking lot. "Teddy!"

"Figure it out!" Teddy yelles from his car.

"Pinche cabrón!" Vasquez hisses. Faraday swayed again before Vasquez put his arms around him and held him up right. He smiles dreamily and gazes at Vasquez. "Going with you?"

"Where do you live?"

"Hmmm, not sure."

"You don't know where you live?" Vasquez askes drily.

"Nope." Again with the popping of the p.

Vasquez huffs. "Fine then. I'll just call Goody." Faraday makes a disappointed noise. Vasquez tries not to be affected.

Keeping an arm wrapped around Faraday's waist, he pulls him flush against his side and digs into his pockets for his phone. Faraday makes a noise of content and burrows closer. Vas fights off a shudder. He quickly picks out Goody's contact info and dials. It rings five times before the man picks up.

"Hello, Vasquez. How are you?" Goody answers politely.

"I've been better." He huffs as Faraday rests his head against his shoulder. "Where does Faraday live?"

"Are you going over?" Genuine surprise paints Goodnight's tone.

"Yes. I need to take him home." Vasquez mumbles.

"He's with you?" Goody exclaimes excitedly. "You guy are together. Did you figure everything out?" Vasquez sputters, floundering for a response before Faraday beat him to the punch, interjecting miserably. "He doesn't want me with him."

"God damnit, Vasquez. Haven't you guys put each other through enough? Let the boy stay with you." Goody scolds.

"Goodnight." Vasquez necessitates. "We're at some shitty bar in the freezing cold because Teddy left us here and Faraday is too drunk of his ass to be reasonable."

"Ah. So that's where Teddy was."

"What do you mean that's where Teddy was?" Vasquez asks. "You know what? Forget it just give me the fucking address so we can leave."

"Take him home with you." Goodnight proposes insistently.

"That's what I said!" Faraday supplies completely unhelpfully and completely too cheerful though it was somewhat muffled in Vasquez neck. This time he wasn’t able to fight of the tremor that ran through him.

"Ay Dios mio, did neither of you listen to me?" Vasquez cries. "He's too drunk to know what he wants!"

"Want you." The admission was firm and quiet. It made Vasquez want to gather him up further and kiss him. All the months of anguish seemed like a distant memory and he was taken back to a time when that may have actually been true. Vasquez shook himself. Thoughts like that were dangerous.

"Well there you go." Goodnight exacts, bringing Vasquez away from those dangerous thoughts.

"If you're going to be an ass about this," Vasquez snarls, "I'll just call Emma."

"I'm not telling you either." Emma calls out from somewhere on the other side on the line.

"Emma's there?"

"We're all here." Sam answers.

"And Teddy was supposed to be here to but apparently he was with you." Billy adds unhelpfully.

"What the hell are you all doing?" Vasquez demands. Awkward silence followed. Someone coughed. "Well?"

"We were strategizing, Vasquez." Goody finally relents.

"Strategizing what, Goodnight?" Vasquez hisses dangerously. Faraday, sensing his anger, brought his hand up to stroke his jaw. Seeing as he was drunker than all hell, he ended up slapping his hand down against Vasquez's skin, but he appreciated the sentiment. Wincing he sent him an uneasy smile.

Vasquez's tone seemed to set off Billy, as he cries, "On how to get yours and Faraday's heads out of your asses."

Anger and embarrassment warred inside him, creating an ugly feeling. Deep down he knew that they were just trying to help, but he wished they could see what he saw. That this whole endeavor was hopeless. Faraday didn't want him anymore, he'd made that incredibly clear. Hell, maybe he never actually did want him. The group had pushed them to get together, based on what Vasquez had assumed was mutual attraction, but maybe Faraday had just felt pressured. Maybe he just went along with it until he couldn't anymore. 

"That's none of your concern." Vasquez snarls lowly.

"It is our concern when you two are hurting." Goody responds with just as much fire.

"Just tell me where the fuck Faraday lives so that I can take him home." He growls and Faraday startles against him. His eyes shine bright with concern, worry coming through the haziness. He runs his thumb along his jaw, voice soft, "Vas? Is everything okay?"

All the annoyance and irritation fled his body and left him with the need to melt. He so desperately wanted to wrap himself up in the other man and enjoy his concern over him. It was because if this that he had to viciously remind himself that Faraday was intoxicated. Still he couldn't help his equally soft response.

"Si, cariño. I'm going make sure you get home okay."

Faraday whines. "Don't wanna go home." He rubs himself against Vas's neck, like a cat looking for affection. "Wanna stay with you."

Warmth seeped into his chest. Somehow the knife both twisted and lessened. He wanted to mold himself into the other man, to be connected like they once were. Then Goodnight's voice cut through his thoughts. 

"Now see there. He wants to go with you." He sounds like he was explaining to a child. Then, harsher, "Take him."

"Goodnight-" He starts

"Exactly, Vasquez." Goody interrupts swiftly. "Goodnight."

And with that he hung up the phone, leaving Vasquez to stare at it like a idiot, mouth opening and closing. Then proceeded to curse so filthy that even Faraday winces. He tries to call all of his so called friends but only gets sent to voicemail. English spilled into Spanish as his frustration grew.

"Vas?" Faraday hesitates.

"Okay." Vasquez says. "Okay, fine. Okay. You are coming home with me. We will sleep in separate rooms and I'll take you home as soon as you a reasonable. Deal?"

Faraday smiles smugly. Fucker.

***

The drive back to the apartment was about as difficult as Vasquez had expected it to be. Getting Faraday buckled into his seat and not end up falling into his lap as the other man made grabby hands at him was a hassle. The actual ride its self was filled with Faraday's whines and rambles. When Vasquez finally pulled into the driveway he practically leaped out the car, effectively interrupting his rant about cats and conspiracy theories.

He opens Faraday's door and helps him get out. He is uncoordinated and messy, limbs clashing with Vas's own as he pulled him against his side and helped him to the door. "

"Missed this place." Faraday mumbles trotting along. Vas hums, not sure how to respond. When they reach the door, Vasquez fumbles around for the keys, trying to find them one-handedly, keeping the other wrapped around Faraday's waist. The grumbles profanities as the key ring get caught on his jacket.

"I got it." Faraday says, pulling away from Vasquez and producing a key from his pocket. Vasquez sputters. "You still have that?"

Faraday shrugs. "You never asked for it."

"You never offered it." Vas shoots back. Faraday shrugs again and shot Vasquez a drunk smile. "Came in handy, right sweetheart?"

Before Vasquez could respond, Faraday waltzed into the place, leaving him to sputter more. He snorted derivatively and looked around, as if to see if anyone else had just witnessed that and could believe it. Only Faraday could keep a key that no longer belonged to him and stroll into his ex's apartment as if he owned the place. He winces slightly, hating to use the word ex, even after all these months of forcing himself to refer to Faraday as that in hopes of desensitizing himself to it. 

Apparently it hadn't worked.

He shook his head and went into the house. Faraday had plopped down onto the couch and sprawled out. Vasquez shook his head. "You aren't sleeping there."

"I'm not?" He asks and Vas tells himself he's just imagining the hope he hears in the other man's voice.

"No." Vasquez says. "I am. You can sleep in the bed. You're gonna be enough pain already when you wake up, no need to add back ache to that list."

Faraday deflates but nods and shuffles to the room miserably. Vasquez barely resists rolling his eyes and huffing. He turns to grab blankets from the closet before thinking better of it and going to make sure Faraday makes it to bed okay.

When he makes it to the room he finds the bed empty and turns to the bathroom to see Faraday hurling in the toilet. Worry gathers in his chest and he makes his way over to the other man. Vasquez crouches down next to him, hand coming up on its own accord and riffling through Faraday's auburn locks. "Ay cariño. Why do you do these things."

Faraday shrugs miserably. "Thought it was a good idea at the time."

Vasquez shook his head and brushed the hair from his forehead before standing. When Faraday had left he had left quickly, with a bag already packed, it wasn't until the next day when Vas was at work that he came and cleared out all his belongings. Everything except his toothbrush. For months that fucking toothbrush haunted Vasquez but for some reason that he didn't care to investigate he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. Now, at least he could say it came in handy. "Here. You'll regret it if you don't wash out your mouth."

"Thanks, Vas." Faraday pulls himself up off the floor and made his way to the sink. He seems unsteady and Vasquez was hesitant to leave him but Faraday shrugged him off. He sighs before turning out the restroom to fix the bed.

After he finished making it, he sat at the edge with his pillow in his lap and dropped his head to his hands. He was tired, so exhausted of not being able to know what he was feeling, to feel so mixed together and lost. Inhaling deeply, he ran an irate hand through his curls and tried to figure out what was going on inside of him. He was angry, that was for sure. Angry with his friends for not helping him, angry at Faraday for being too wasted to remember that he didn't want him anymore, but mostly angry at himself for allowing himself this after he had tried so hard for so long to cut all traces of Faraday and the feeling of falling out of his life. He exhales, trying to collect himself.

Whatever stability that had returned to him was shattered by the feeling of warm lips connecting with the skin of his neck, stubble scratching along the the sensitive area. A breathy gasp escaped without Vasquez's permission and he felt his head tip back, falling on Faraday's shoulder. 

"Missed you, sweetheart." Faraday whispers against the shell of his ear. And fuck if it isn't fucking agonizing to have to pull himself away from him, to not let himself fall again. But Faraday's lips are sloppy, not reverent or hell even steady like they used to be and Vasquez forces himself to remember that Faraday isn't in his right mind. He wants, god does he want this, but not like this, not without Faraday fully present. "Joshua. No."

He pulls back but gives a rueful laugh, slightly hollow. "Never thought I'd hear you call me that again."

Vasquez choses to ignore this, for now at least. "This isn't a good idea." Faraday stares down at the covers. Vasquez suddenly feels the need to fill the awkward silence that has entered the room. "I mean, you don't...you know...like me."

Vasquez is almost too busy drowning in embarrassment to notice the way Faraday's head snaps up and stares at him like he just grew two heads. "Don't like you? Vas, I love you."

He could have said more, Vasquez suspects he did as his mouth was still moving, about what, he couldn't tell because he couldn't hear anything over the ringing in his ears. He felt like the world had tilted beneath him, leaving him unbalanced. He forgot to breath.

"Vas? Vas." Faraday hesitates, before his face falls. "Fuck darlin'. You knew that right? Please tell me you knew that. Tell me I let you know that when I had you."

Vasquez wants to laugh and cry and snap, because no he hadn't let him know. Yet on a more pathetic note Vasquez was pretty sure Faraday still had him. Even if he didn't want him, his hooks were still stuck in Vas's skin, drawing him towards him despite everything. 

He wanted to record Faraday and play it over and over, but he forced himself to hold steady and not tip over. He forced himself to remember that the other man had only been barfing no less than five minutes ago from drinking so much. "You aren't..."

"Ale, I mean it." Faraday insisted. His hands were tangled in the sheets, so tight that Vasquez feared there would be a tear. 

Vasquez wanted so much too believe him. Wanted to call this entire war off and pull him into his arms and fall asleep with him like they used to. But a larger part of Vasquez was weary. Losing the other man had cut deeper than he wanted to admit, but now in the early hours of the morning with Faraday drunkenly confessing his love to him he was able to admit it and hell, if he wouldn't do everything in his power to keep that from happening again. And believing Faraday, falling into his arms, into their old bed, falling for him again, only to find that he really never meant it would kill him. So he takes a deep breath and gives a small smile, a bitter little thing, and says, "No you don't, Joshua. You never did."

"Ale-" the other man begins, leaning forward. 

Vasquez moves off the bed, towards the door. "I think you should sleep now."

"But Vas-"

"Tomorrow, guero. Tomorrow we'll talk about it." Vas interrupts briskly. Faraday gives a reluctant nod and Vasquez bustles out the room.

It isn't until he had thrown himself on the couch that he realized he'd forgotten the pillow. Sighing, he angrily settled into the lumpy couch refusing to go back in the room and coming to the conclusion that a sore neck was better than having to deal with a drunk emotional Faraday. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into a fitful sleep.

***

He had no intention of bringing it up.

He really didn't, truly. But upon seeing Faraday, speaking with him that entire plan went to shit.

"Vasquez." Something shook him but he stubbornly kept his eyes closed, too tired to be interrupted. "Vasquez. C'mon, Vasquez."

He reluctantly cracks and eye open and is greeted by a tired looking Faraday. He jolts up, nearly colliding with the other man in the process. "Pinche cabron, you scared the shit out of me."

"Shouldn't have. Been callin' you for the last five minutes." Faraday mumbles. He wasn't meeting his eye and Vasquez suddenly remembered that Faraday wasn't drunk anymore and this was the first real interaction they hadn't without him being intoxicated. His stomach drops uncomfortably and he sits up, stretching out and wincing. Faraday stares as he rolls his shoulders. "Shoulda had me sleep out here."

"Figured you'd be in enough pain from the hangover anyway." Vas flinches when he tries to turn his head. Fuck, he should have just sucked it up and got his pillow last night.

"Uh, thanks." Faraday mumbles. "Well, I'll get out of your hair."

Anger flared up in him. Vasquez had drove all the way out to help him and the least Faraday could do was have a conversation with him. Hell, he could at least look him in the eye. "Yeah. I'm surprised you stayed this long."

Faraday barely contained his flinch, though he doesn't shy away from his gaze anymore, instead meeting him head on. His eyes were burning. "Yeah well I was tryin' not to be rude."

Vasquez laughs bitterly, "Well that's new."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Faraday asks lowly. 

"It supposed to mean that you have barely spoke to me for three months." Vas explodes. He feels a bomb go off and he can’t stop himself. Suddenly he wanted to make him react, to stop being so detached.

"Well maybe it's hard to-" Faraday begins to hiss.

"Why? Because you love me so much?" Vasquez yells. "Because we all know that that's not true."

Silence falls over the room and Vasquez is left breathing heavily. It takes all about two seconds for Vasquez to feel a deep embarrassment settle over him. Refusing to look at Faraday, he takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "You're right. You should go."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Faraday demands lowly. He sounds dangerous.

"I said you should-" Vasquez begins.

"Before that, dumbass."

Anger flares in his chest. He snarls, "I said maybe the reason it's so hard to speak to me I because you love me."

"And you think that's a lie?" He growls. He's standing now, staring at him, meeting his gaze head on, eyes burning. Vasquez stands too, unable to stay seated. 

"You were drunk." He accuses.

"And?"

"And?" Vas repeats helplessly. "And? And I'm not stupid. Just because you say it once when you were drunk off your ass doesn't make it true." He feels a storm brewing inside him, but he doesn't want to explode, instead he feel dejected, as though all the fight had left him. Like all the feelings swirling inside him reached a peak and fled leaving him exhausted. He gives a pathetic little shrug and says quietly, "It never has been true."

Faraday looks as though Vas just slapped him. "How can you even say that?" He says, sounding raw.

"You never..."

"Yeah but fuck, Vas, I showed you." Faraday interrupts helplessly.

"How was I supposed to know if you never-" He tries to argue but the other man cuts in.

"How are supposed to know? Vas, I let you call me Joshua, I told you things I've never told anyone, I opened up to you. I-" 

"Yeah but you never told me!" Vasquez cries.

"I didn't think I had to! I thought you just knew!"

"I thought I did too, but then you-"

"I what?"

"You left!"

Vasquez breathes out loud shaky sigh, before shaking his head and whispers, "You left."

"You left first." Faraday blurted. 

"What?" Vasquez asks, bewildered. "Faraday. You broke things off and moved out of our apartment."

"Because you pulled away!"

"I pulled away! How?"

"You stopped..."

"I stopped?"

"You stopped saying it."

"Faraday, we aren't five. I don't know what 'it' is. Use your words." Vasquez implored.

Faraday inhales and stops meeting his eye. "You stopped saying you loved me."

Vasquez felt his eyes burn and his throat swell but he willed it away. His voice sounded scratchy. "Yeah, well it's hard to say that to someone when they don't love you back."

"That...that's why you stopped saying it?"

"Well, yeah. Obviously." Vasquez says lamely.

Faraday bursts out laughing, full on bell laughs. He sounds relieved for some reason. Vasquez feels all his defenses go right back up and with an air of finality says, "You need to leave. Now."

"Wait, Vas." He's already pushing him out the door. "Vas, this means we could fix this."

That stops him in his tracks. "Fix what?"

"Us."

Vas snort derivatively. "There's nothing left to fix."

"Vas, don't" Faraday pleads. "Don't say that."

"You were just laughing at me-"

"Not at you! At the situation, this whole thing is so stupid but we can fix this-"

"No we can't-"

"I love you!" Vasquez falls quiet, gaping at the other man. "Fuck Vas, I love you, I always have."

Vas shakes his head dazedly. "You don't mean that-"

"Yes, I do. I loved you when I left, I've loved you for the past three months, I love you right now." He affirms. "I... well you know my baggage and shit, it's hard to say it."

"So why wait? Why say it now?" Vas demands because he's already beginning to feel like he's on the edge, threatening to tip over.

"Because I can't stand to be without you." He say plainly, painfully honest. "Because now that I know that I lost you because of my own pigheadedness and not because you stopped feeling for me, I can't not try to win you back."

"You...you left." Vas breathes again, trying to stop himself from tipping over.

"You pulled away, I thought it would be easier to end it quickly and not wait for you to inevitably wake up and realize that you could do so much better."

Vasquez feels something loosen within him. He takes a step forward, wobbling dangerously towards the edge. "Did it? Make it easier?"

Faraday shakes his head, moving closer. "Not by a long shot." He crowds Vas's space. "I need you, sweetheart."

Vasquez's heart beats madly, wildly. He moves his hand to tangle in the other man's auburn hair. They're so close that they are sharing each other's air, lips so close to touching. "Say it again." Vas murmurs.

"I love-" His words are lost into Vasquez's mouth as he slams their lips together. It isn't soft or gentle. It's a hungry and needy kiss. It's an 'I need you' kiss. Their hands scrabbled at each other, grabbing on and refusing to let go. Vas's hand in his hair pulled tightly as their lips smashed together, over and over.

He was falling again. Or maybe he had never stopped falling, but fuck in that moment he didn't care. All the matter was the feeling of Faraday pressed against him and his lips slotted in his. He let himself get lost in the feel of it.

***

Vasquez blamed Emma. No, he blamed Goody too, for enabling her. For buying her the damn karaoke machine and encouraging her to bring it everywhere. 

Vas leans against the wall watching as Emma and Faraday engage in a duet, which really just involves them trying to scream over each other. Goody and Jack egg them on while the others laugh along. Faraday's microphone goes out and after banging it a few times, he tosses it on the couch as though it personally offended him. He then proceeded to take Emma's which started a shoving match. They pull the damn mic back and forth shouting into as Red records it. Vasquez sighs. He was pretty sure he'd be evicted by the end of the night.

"I'm happy for you." Vasquez startles and turns to find Billy standing behind him. Vasquez grinns, glancing back at Faraday who Emma currently has in a chokehold. "Yeah, I certainly know how to pick them."

Billy snorted. "I'm serious, I'm glad everything worked out between you two."

"Me too." Then he pauses. "But that whole thing was over a year ago, what made you think about it?"

"Faraday."

"What about him?"

Billy sighs. "Goody and I were the ones who were with him the most when you guys weren't together. He was a mess, it always make me happy to see him like he is right now."

There was no accusation in Billy's tone, but Vasquez still feels guilt build up in the pit of his stomach. He hates to think about the unnecessary hurt they had put each other through last year. "I guess we needed that to get to where we are now."

"I always knew that you guys would make it through." Billy nods.

Vasquez opens his mouth to reply when he an arm fall on his shoulder and pulls him into a warm body. "How are you all liking the party. I did good right?"

Billy chuckles. "It definitely has you written all over it." With that he kicks off the wall and goes to settle next to Goodnight on the couch.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Faraday pouts.

"It means that only you would have a karaoke engagement party." Vasquez laughs.

"I wanted our engagement party to be fun. Not some stuffy thing like that lady from your work's was with fondue and whatever other fancy things I can't pronounce." He grouches.

Vasquez roars. "So you got pizza rolls and beer?"

"Only for you, darlin'.”

"At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if my ring is a ring pop." He quips.

Faraday gasps, holding his hand to his chest. "I do have some class I'll have you know."

"Hmmm. Speaking of rings, what does it look like?" Vasquez inquires innocently.

"Nice try, sweetheart."

"It's been two weeks." Vasquez says flatly.

"And I told you it would take three for it to be done."

"Should of proposed to me then." Vasquez sniffs.

"Ah, you know me, can't ever stick to a plan." Then. "But you can't change your mind now, Mr. Vasquez-Faraday."

"Nope. I’m keeping my own name, thank you very much."

"Absolutely not. I'm the proposer. I chose."

"I don't think so. The proposee gets to chose."

"Vas, that ain't even a word." Faraday snorts

Emma fell on the couch dramatically. "Not this again." She leaned up against Teddy, catching her breath from her over the top musicals number. "Mic's open, Faraday. You can serenade you fiancé into taking your name."

"Hey! It supposed to be my turn." Teddy pouts. Emma shrugs and Teddy glares before trying to rip the mic away from her. 

Vasquez laughs, feeling Faraday vibrate next to him as Goody shouted at them to watch out for Billy before they got themselves killed. He grinned brightly feeling something warm spread throughout him. Faraday pulls him closer, placing his mouth against his ear, causing a shiver to run through him.

"I love you." Whispered softly, like the treasured sentiment it was. Vasquez turns and slots their lips together, murmuring against his lips the same.

Vasquez was falling, fast and hard, languidly and gentle, everything all at once, but he wasn't fearful anymore. So he leaned into the feeling, lost himself in it, in Faraday's lips and his warmth.

He was falling, and he never wanted to stop.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Sorry if there were any errors, I proofread myself and often miss things. This story was a real piece of work and I'm not sure if I liked how it came out but I don't think I can stare at it any longer. I have ton of more WIP's so look out for those. Come yell about Mag7 with me on tumblr at mocha-corgi. Comments always loved and prompts always accepted!


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